Marriott Edgar ( )

Jonah and the Grampus

Ill tell you the story of Jonah,
A really remarkable tale;
A peaceful and humdrum existence he had
Until one day he went for a sail. 

The weather were grand when they started,
But later at turn of the tide
The wind started blowing, the water got rough,
And Jonah felt funny inside.

When the ship started pitching and tossing
He tried hard his feelings to smother,
At last he just leant his head over the side
And one thing seemed to bring up another.

When the sailors saw what he were doing
It gave them a bit of a jar;
They didnt mind trippers enjoying theirselves,
But thowt this ere were going too far.

Said one Is there nowt you can think on
To stop you from feelin so bad?
And Jonah said Aye, lift me over the side
And chuck me in, theres a good lad.

The sailor were not one to argue,
He said Happen you know whats best.
Then he picked Jonah up by the seat of his pants
And chucked him in, as per request.

A Grampus came up at that moment,
And seeing the old man hard set,
It swam to his side and it opened its mouth
And said Come in lad, out of the wet.

Its manner were kindly and pleading,
As if to say R.S.V.P.
Said Jonah Ive eaten a kipper or two,
But I never thowt one would eat me.

The inside of Grampus surprised him,
Twere the first time hed been behind scenes;
He found commodation quite ample for one
But it smelled like a tin of sardines.

Then over the sea they went cruising,
And Jonah were filled with delight;
With his eye to the blow-ole in tGrampuss head
He watched ships that passed in the night.

Im tired of watching, said Jonah,
Ill rest for a minute or so.
Im afraid as you wont find your bed very soft,
Said the Grampus, Ive got a hard roe.

At that moment up came a whale boat,
Said Jonah, Whats this ere weve struck?
Theyre after my blubber, the Grampus replied,
Youd better old tight while I duck.

The water came in through the spy-ole
And hit Jonahs face a real slosher,
He said, Shut your blow-ole! and Grampus replied
I cant lad, it needs a new washer.

Jonah tried ard to bail out the water,
But found all his efforts in vain,
For as fast as he emptied the slops out through the gills
They came in through the blow ole again.

When at finish they came to the surface
Jonah took a look out and he saw
They were stuck on a bit of a sandbank that lay
One rod, pole or perch from the shore.

Said the Grampus, Were in shallow water,
Ive brought you as far as I may;
If you sit on the blow ole on top of my head
Ill spout you the rest of the way.

So Jonah obeyed these instructions,
And the Grampus his lungs did expand,
Then blew out a fountain that lifted Jo up
And carried him safely to land.

There was tears in their eyes when they parted
And each blew a kiss, a real big un,
Then the Grampus went off with a swish of its tail
And Jonah walked back home to Wigan.

Marriott Edgar's other poems:
  1. Albert and the Eadsman
  2. Alberts Return
  3. Joe Ramsbottom
  4. Sam Goes to It
  5. Fair Rosamond

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