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Poem by Ellis Parker Butler

The Romance of Patrolman Casey

There was a young patrolman who
  Had large but tender feet;
They always hurt him badly when
  He walked upon his beat.
(He always took them with him when
  He walked upon his beat.)

His name was Patrick Casey and
  A sweetheart fair had he;
Her face was full of frecklesbut
  Her name was Kate McGee.
(It was in spite of freckles that
  Her name was Kate McGee.)

Oh, Pat! she said, Ill wed you when
  Promotion comes to you!
Im much-obliged, he answered, and
  Ill see what I can do.
(I may remark he said it thus
  Oill say phwat Oi kin do.)

So then he bought some new shoes which
  Allowed his feet more ease
They may have been large twelves. Perhaps
  Eighteens, or twenty-threes.
(Thats rather large for shoes, I think
  Eighteens or twenty-threes!)

What last they were I dont know, but
  Somehow it seems to me
Ive heard somewhere they either were
  A, B, C, D, or E.
(More likely they were five lasts wide
  A, B plus C, D, E.)

They were the stoutest cowhide that
  Could be peeled off a cow.
But he was not promoted
Kate wed him anyhow.
(This world is crowded full of Kates
  That wed them anyhow.)

Ellis Parker Butler

Ellis Parker Butler's other poems:
  1. New England Magazine
  2. The Ballade of the Automobile
  3. Why I Went to the Foot
  4. The Final Tax
  5. The Charge of the Second Iowa Cavalry

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