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Poem by Edgar Albert Guest


The Bachelors Soliloquy


To wed, or not to wed; that is the question;
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The bills and house rent of a wedded fortune,
Or to say nit when she proposes,
And by declining cut her. To wed; to smoke
No more; And have a wife at home to mend
The holes in socks and shirts
And underwear and so forth. Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To wed for life;
To wed; perchance to fight; ay, theres the rub;
For in that married life what fights may come,
When we have honeymooning ceased
Must give us pause; theres the respect
That makes the joy of single life.
For who would bear her mothers scornful tongue,
Canned goods for tea, the dying furnace fire;
The pangs of sleepless nights when baby cries;
The pain of barking shins upon a chair and
Closing waists that button down the back,
When he himself might all these troubles shirk
With a bare refusal? Who would bundles bear,
And grunt and sweat under a shopping load?
Who would samples match; buy rats for hair,
Cart cheese and crackers home to serve at night
For lunch to feed your friends; play pedro
After tea; sing rag time songs, amusing
Friendly neighbors. Buy garden tools
To lend unto the same. Stay home at nights
In smoking coat and slippers and slink to bed
At ten oclock to save the light bills?
Thus duty does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of matrimony
Is sicklied oer with the pale cast of chores;
And thus the gloss of marriage fades away,
And loses its attraction.



Edgar Albert Guest


Edgar Albert Guest's other poems:
  1. The Little Church
  2. Home (The road to laughter beckons me)
  3. Pa Did It!
  4. Another Mouth to Feed
  5. The March of Mortality


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